I spent the best day ~ with you ~ today!

Thank you Taylor Swift for giving words to the feelings in my heart. We were able to be in Logan for Millie's graduation from Utah State University. Our youngest - all grown up! Well kind of! We were able to spend 8 glorious days with family and friends in Cache Valley. I don't know if it's being surrounded by family, being nestled in the valleys of the mountains or what - but my heart almost sings when we are 'home'. Spending time with our daughters is the BEST of the best! And we don't have to do anything spectacular, just be together. We played a fun new game: Farkel. It's a dice game and we played it several times while there. Sometimes just three of us - sometimes around a table with lots of cousins. We visited Bob and Linda Gunnell and I loved the location of their new home. I would love a place next door. They would be great neighbors and the view is spectacular! You don't find mountains like that in Missouri!


We would be back in Missouri for Mother's Day - but Friday was a 'girls day'. We shopped, we ate frozen yogurt, we got pedicures and Amanda and Millie cooked a fabulous meal for us and Grandma Miller. These two daughters are the most giving people I know... I'm so blessed.

One for all and All for one!

My heart has been so heavy the last couple of days. The school I work at is scheduled to close the end of June which means loss of jobs for many people and losing the day to day association with many people that I have come to care about a great deal.

General Conference was amazing! It was the shot in the arm that I needed - and yet I still feel so 'alone'. I so much want to go home. I miss Cache Valley. I miss our little family. I hate being so far away from one another. I miss the events and celebrations associated with extended family - weddings, births, birthday parties, graduations, holidays.... we've missed so much. And yet - here we are - 1,000 miles away and alone. Surrounded by people we know, by friends, by good members of the ward - yet feeling so alone.

I've reflected much on our family the last couple of days, and I am almost overwhelmed with the love I feel for them. It is heartwarming that when someone has something wonderful or funny or totally off the wall happen, we call each other. We laugh, we enjoy the direction our footsteps take us. And on the other hand - when one is struggling, the rest rally around ~ be it in prayer, hugs or long conversations on the sofa or the phone.... sometimes on the sofa via the phone! However it happens - our family is a blessing to me. I also know that any of us would travel great distance at great sacrifice if needed to be there for someone in our family.... I am so proud of each person, the gifts they have and how they use them. I know sometimes we all feel inadequate, unlovable, unworthy. And so at this Easter season - I am grateful to have been reminded of the One who is for us all! Who loves us unconditionally. Who was willing to give all for you and I. Who has already gone before us - to prepare for us - for you and for I - a mansion of our very own in the Kingdom of our Father on High. Enjoy this message and may the blessings of Easter be with you now and always - and may He come quickly. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpFhS0dAduc

Legacy

I've been thinking a lot lately of what I am leaving behind. I know that may sound a little morbid - but it's been on my mind. I know there are some changes I would like to make so my legacy is really what I want it to be... but all in all - I think I'm doing 'ok'. I was discussing with Don the other day the content of obituaries, and have decided that when I die - I would like my obituary to be something other than all the organizations I belonged to, the service I gave, blah blah blah blah blah.... who really cares anyway?! What could be said that would be of value to ANYONE who might stumble across the last thing written about me? I decided I would like my obituary to be my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Don told me I should write it now and put it someplace safe. Something else to add to my 'to do' list!

I feel too that I am leaving behind a wonderful legacy with my daughters and their future families. They are great individuals with so many talents and such strong testimonies. Their families will be strong. They will be incredible mothers and wives, with much to offer to their families and their community. I am proud to the be the mother of Amanda and Millie.

Is there more? I hope so! I'll have to ponder on that and write more later!

Looking ahead

There is much to look forward to.... I'm looking forward to the election being over and not having to watch continual ads on t.v. anymore as well as get oodles of phone calls on a daily basis. I'm anxious about the outcome... our country is in such turmoil and it will take extreme measures to right the wrongs that have been happening for many years - I'm not sure either candidate is up to it.

I am looking forward to having all of our family 'home for Christmas'. Even Don's mother is coming.... the first time she has been away from home for Christmas - EVER! She turns 87 tomorrow! So I'm thinking of many ways to make this Christmas 'extra special'.

I'm even being brave enough to look forward to the end of April/first of May.... Millie graduates from Utah State University and we will make another Utah Trek. They are always good trips, but this one will come with changes.... where will she get a job and will we be helping her move?

I'm looking forward to being able to play Christmas music and feeling the relaxation that comes as the soothing melodies permeate our home.

I'm looking ahead to two glorious weeks off of work! I enjoy my job - I enjoy being at home with my family more.

Living in Missouri - away from all of our family is not what I would have 'chosen'. Although this has been a very hard thing for us as a family - it has also been something that has given us many blessings! We never would have experienced the joy of catching fireflies, or the awe of ice storms and floods! We wouldn't have the many wonderful 'friends from the midwest' that will be friends forever! We wouldn't have gained such an appreciation for our pioneer ancestors if we had not made the same trek they did - only in hours rather than months! I'm sure I never would have started using the term 'y'all' if I had not lived in the midwest! And I certainly wouldn't appreciate an arid climate and mountains the way I do now! Living 'away from our comfort zone' as our family was growing up gave us the opportunity to grow together. We didn't have extended family - we had each other and - for good or bad - we were always walking through the trials and joys of life together. We gained a greater appreciation for family. Even now we are somewhat amazed at the closeness of 'the cousins' when they were only together for a couple of weeks each year as they were all growing up. So - although we didn't necessarily 'choose' to live in Missouri - I hope we can say that we have 'lived' here. That we have taken those things that were put in our path and made them stepping stones along the way instead of stumbling blocks; that we learned to grow where we were planted. We are transplants here - we have grown and matured - but our roots are still in Cache Valley. And so - we have two homes.... where we live and where our hearts are.