Worn and Weathered

 

I loved my flowers this summer. The bright colors of the Cone flowers, the Knockout Roses, and the Zinnias brought me a lot of joy when I walked outside.  I could just look at them and feel happiness.  

At their peak, they reminded me of my younger self.

Reaching for the stars - and expecting to be able to catch them!

Being involved in ALL of the stuff.  

Involved with friends, building forever relationships, working, creating a beautiful family, involved in all of the church things, teaching myself different skills and finding new hobbies...all the things.

And then one day I looked in the mirror and came to the realization that I look and feel more like this...

this is my time of life now!

A little more worn and weathered.  A lot more tired! 

  

I  have kept this vase of flowers on my kitchen countertop,

because when I look at these flowers, I don't just see dried up, dull, useless flowers 

(how I feel some days at this stage of life).

I see flowers that have fulfilled the measure of their creation.

Flowers that have brought me joy every day, just because they exist, not just when they were in their prime!

Flowers that have endured scorching sun and heat; cold, almost freezing nights; bugs that tried to destroy them; not getting enough water and at times - too much water!  oops!

When I look at these flowers I see resilience.  

I see a quiet beauty that speaks of strength that came because of all of the challenges.

I see a beauty that doesn't feel like it has to be as it was during the bright summer days - this is a beauty that reminds me that we all have to walk through this 'getting older' phase of life,

and really, what a privilege that is!

There are days when I feel like I'm not enough and I'll never be what I was intended to become.

Then I remember that I worship a God who just wants me to do my best.

On those days when I can shine and bring joy to someone else, that's wonderful!

On those days when it's a chore to just show up and exist.... 

the fact that I do show up is enough.  

Some days, the 45% that I feel I have to offer, is the 100% of what I could give on that day.

And what an incredible blessing it is to know that this is enough!