Monday, June 22, 2009


"Remember who you are" - a familiar phrase from my mother as I walked out the door. Then it was something I said to our own daughters. Now I repeat it to myself. Remember. Remember who you are. Satan - as he plants seeds of doubt, discourage- ment, and fear in our hearts wants us to forget who we are. He would love nothing more than for us to forget that we are sons and daughters of a Heavenly Father who loves us. He would have us forget that divine heritage and let ourselves become mired in the mud bogs of this mortal existence that surround us. And so - each day - we try to 'remember'.

I was thinking about the buzz I get from checking my email, chatting with friends on FaceBook and in general, just staying in touch with family and friends, when I remembered that as a child - I was the one who found addresses of other children who wanted pen pals, and friendships from across the country were formed. One in particular I wrote to for about three years. I can't tell you a name, or even where she was from - but I remember the anticipation as I would go to the mailbox to see if she had written. What fun that was. And I remember on our birthdays that Aunt Pauline would always send a pair of panty hose in our b-day cards. Sounds funny now - but back then, panty hose were new and it was 'cool' to have a pair! What a fun memory!

Amanda was here the end of May for Syd's wedding. We enjoyed celebrating with their family - then the three of us took off and went to Nauvoo for a couple of days. We love, love, love Nauvoo. We went to the old Nauvoo cemetary where I have ancestors buried. Didn't find any headstones, but the spirit of the area was so sacred. It was difficult to think what life really was like for them. Not easy - for sure.

We are so blessed.

Monday, May 11, 2009

I spent the best day ~ with you ~ today!

Thank you Taylor Swift for giving words to the feelings in my heart. We were able to be in Logan for Millie's graduation from Utah State University. Our youngest - all grown up! Well kind of! We were able to spend 8 glorious days with family and friends in Cache Valley. I don't know if it's being surrounded by family, being nestled in the valleys of the mountains or what - but my heart almost sings when we are 'home'. Spending time with our daughters is the BEST of the best! And we don't have to do anything spectacular, just be together. We played a fun new game: Farkel. It's a dice game and we played it several times while there. Sometimes just three of us - sometimes around a table with lots of cousins. We visited Bob and Linda Gunnell and I loved the location of their new home. I would love a place next door. They would be great neighbors and the view is spectacular! You don't find mountains like that in Missouri!

We would be back in Missouri for Mother's Day - but Friday was a 'girls day'. We shopped, we ate frozen yogurt, we got pedicures and Amanda and Millie cooked a fabulous meal for us and Grandma Miller. These two daughters are the most giving people I know... I'm so blessed.

Friday, April 10, 2009

One for all and All for one!

My heart has been so heavy the last couple of days. The school I work at is scheduled to close the end of June which means loss of jobs for many people and losing the day to day association with many people that I have come to care about a great deal.

General Conference was amazing! It was the shot in the arm that I needed - and yet I still feel so 'alone'. I so much want to go home. I miss Cache Valley. I miss our little family. I hate being so far away from one another. I miss the events and celebrations associated with extended family - weddings, births, birthday parties, graduations, holidays.... we've missed so much. And yet - here we are - 1,000 miles away and alone. Surrounded by people we know, by friends, by good members of the ward - yet feeling so alone.

I've reflected much on our family the last couple of days, and I am almost overwhelmed with the love I feel for them. It is heartwarming that when someone has something wonderful or funny or totally off the wall happen, we call each other. We laugh, we enjoy the direction our footsteps take us. And on the other hand - when one is struggling, the rest rally around ~ be it in prayer, hugs or long conversations on the sofa or the phone.... sometimes on the sofa via the phone! However it happens - our family is a blessing to me. I also know that any of us would travel great distance at great sacrifice if needed to be there for someone in our family.... I am so proud of each person, the gifts they have and how they use them. I know sometimes we all feel inadequate, unlovable, unworthy. And so at this Easter season - I am grateful to have been reminded of the One who is for us all! Who loves us unconditionally. Who was willing to give all for you and I. Who has already gone before us - to prepare for us - for you and for I - a mansion of our very own in the Kingdom of our Father on High. Enjoy this message and may the blessings of Easter be with you now and always - and may He come quickly.

Sunday, March 1, 2009


I've been thinking a lot lately of what I am leaving behind. I know that may sound a little morbid - but it's been on my mind. I know there are some changes I would like to make so my legacy is really what I want it to be... but all in all - I think I'm doing 'ok'. I was discussing with Don the other day the content of obituaries, and have decided that when I die - I would like my obituary to be something other than all the organizations I belonged to, the service I gave, blah blah blah blah blah.... who really cares anyway?! What could be said that would be of value to ANYONE who might stumble across the last thing written about me? I decided I would like my obituary to be my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Don told me I should write it now and put it someplace safe. Something else to add to my 'to do' list!

I feel too that I am leaving behind a wonderful legacy with my daughters and their future families. They are great individuals with so many talents and such strong testimonies. Their families will be strong. They will be incredible mothers and wives, with much to offer to their families and their community. I am proud to the be the mother of Amanda and Millie.

Is there more? I hope so! I'll have to ponder on that and write more later!