It has been such an interesting process figuring out 'life'. It's something we all do each and every day. Every person has different experiences that they are working through and different perspectives that they bring to the table - so each and every one of us will have different outcomes. How I handled my situation that was causing such extreme anxiety in my life may not work for you.
So - a year plus since my last post on anxiety, and I'm happy to report that I'm doing well! Let me tell you about that year ---- whew!
- I quit my job
- My husband retired from his job
- In April we spent three weeks in Utah helping our daughter with a new baby and looking for work and houses
- Made an offer on a home - it didn't go through
- The first part of May our house in Missouri sold!
- We went back to Missouri and finished packing our place up and doing things to the house that had to be be done for the sale to go through
- Phone & Skype interviews -- that happens when you are 1,000 miles away from where you are trying to find work
- Lots of emotional good-byes to very dear friends. Some that we likely will never see again. Thank heavens for FB, email and phone calls!
- Packed up and drove across country. Do you want to know what caused me the most anxiety about all of this? Driving behind the U-Haul! I watched it almost go off the road, I watched it look like it could tip over while changing lanes on uneven pavement. I watched it going way too fast down some very long hills. I had perfect trust in our friend and driver of that van, but still - that was hard!
- Moved in with some friends because we didn't have a house of our own.
- We were basically homeless and unemployed! YIKES!
- Spent lots of time with family - so therapeutic!
- Went to the LDS Employment Center every day and spent hours filling out job applications, interviewing, crying over rejection letters, etc.
- I got a job the end of July
- Bought a home
- Don's back is getting worse and worse
- In October or November met with a neurosurgeon and determined that surgery was necessary
- Major back surgery the first part of December
- Don was called to be the bishop of our ward, that we had only been members of for three months!
- He's still looking for work
When I scored the events of the year on one of those
life stress inventories, the score was quite high. Anything 300 points or more raises the odds to about 80% of having a major health breakdown in the next two years. We scored 423!
Even with a high score on the stress inventory, we felt SO MUCH PEACE! Staying in the upstairs apartment at our friends' place was truly a healing time for us. When we needed a friend, we just walked down stairs. We had prayed and fasted and received a LOT of counsel from people we trusted as we made the decision to walk away from those things that were causing us the most stress. So even with all of the changes that we made, and the stress that they could have (should have) caused in our lives, we have never had a time in our lives when we felt peace on such a consistent basis.
We have loved being close to our family and enjoying time with our adult children, their spouses and the grandkids. What a blessing each of them are to us. What a joy to have those little ones walk in our house and throw their arms around us.
We did a lot of 'studying it out in our minds and hearts' as to what we should do each step of the way. We felt the strong confirmation from a loving Father in Heaven as we made decisions that we were on the right path - even when we couldn't totally see the path! We felt like Peter at times, as the Lord issued the invitation to him 'to come' - to leave the boat and walk to Him on the water. Sometimes we felt as though we had just taken a flying leap into the wind-tossed waters - but even as we did so - we felt our Savior's outstretched arms there to catch us.
We feel blessed.
We feel loved.
Life is good!
We are happy!
